Book Review: Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney

Another amazing psychological thriller and debut novel, full of twists and turns and shocks. I loved it!

Amber Reynolds is lying in a coma in hospital. Why is she there? Right from the start, the story keeps us guessing, overshadowed by a sinister malevolence that makes us suspect everyone of a crime we are not yet sure of. The story jumps from present day, where Amber lies trapped in a comatose state, aware of everything that goes on around her, to her life prior to the unknown accident, including her relationship with husband Paul and her erratic work life with a megalomaniac boss. Alongside this are diary excerpts, describing an unhappy and startling childhood.

What role does sister Claire play in Amber’s life? How happy was Amber and Paul’s marriage? And why does Amber seem slightly crazy?

Personally, I couldn’t put this book down. It had me gripped right until the very end, when it climaxed with yet another excellent twist. Debut novels this year are of a very high standard, especially in the psychological thriller genre and this one definitely deserves 5 stars on Goodreads. Highly recommended!

Thank you!

So today, as well as being Friday and the first day of autumn, has also been the day that my little blog hit a milestone – 100 followers!!

I am so pleased and extremely grateful that so many of you have chosen to join me on my journey, destination as of yet unknown, and I hope that you continue to follow my random posts and reviews.

Thank you all so much for being here! 💜

Love.. Not.

Lately, I’ve had love on my mind, which is very unlike me. By love I mean relationships, and not the comfortable, non-dangerous love I have for my son and family. As I swore off the relationships kind of love a few years ago, this is unusual.

“Love is a serious mental illness”, said Plato back in 360 BC, and I am seriously inclined to agree with him.  Although I think he may have called it a disease, but same difference. Socrates backed him up with “Love is a madness”, and these guys knew what they were talking about. Hence me giving the L-word the swerve. Keeps me sane, which is how I like it these days.

So it surprised me to get those old feelings back, that craving for a connection, and I found myself Facebook stalking the last excuse-for-a-man to use my heart as a disposable punching bag. Nothing much had changed there, which was to be expected, and I really wasn’t interested in re-hashing the past. What I was actually missing was not any one person, but the thrill that you experience when you meet someone new, when your heart starts to stir again, as if waking from a deep slumber. When your soul sits up and goes “let’s take another look at this one!” Waiting in anticipation for the next text, and thinking about them in your spare time. Watching indifferently as your sanity slowly slides out of the door.

Yes, it will always come back to that, and I savour my sanity these days. I like being in control of me, and being in love, or even infatuation, is not control.

I know, I sound extremely cynical, and I’ll be alone for the rest of my life at this rate. Blah, blah. I totally realise what I am “missing out on”, but I genuinely think that this is the most sensible I have been in a long time. I lose my shit when I’m into someone, and I don’t want to do that anymore. So I avoid relationships at all costs.

I’m not going to cast doubt on love for everyone, not by any means. I know it works for many; after all, I am surrounded by couples, but it always baffles me somewhat. For me, relationships have never been easy, or particularly happy. Love exhausts me. People exhaust me. Relationships just aren’t for me, and I don’t understand how people make them work. It makes me a little envious at times.

I haven’t come to this conclusion all by myself. I do speak from experience, and said experience is not something I look back on with starry eyes. I’ve been an idiot. I’ve been drawn to the wrong ones, I’ve offered them everything on a plate, and I’ve subsequently been treated like a doormat. My own fault? Maybe, but then if they had been decent men, they wouldn’t have allowed it to happen. They would have treated me with the respect I deserved. 

These days, I prefer to respect myself, and this includes staying away from relationships. I know my weaknesses, and I know that I’m a magnet for narcissistic mummys boys. It’s that old self-esteem thing – I only accept what I think I deserve, and until I’ve healed myself of these thoughts, I will stay single. 

Don’t I miss sex? Of course I do, I’m as red-blooded as the next woman. But I’m also realistic, and old-fashioned. I’m an all-or-nothing type of girl. If I’m having sex with you, I’m having feelings for you. Hook ups and one-night stands just don’t make the grade, but thinking about anything more than that gives me the heebie-jeebies. Intimacy scares me these days, and if I’m not ready for that, then I’m not ready for anything. 

I guess it’s a trust thing. I need to work on that.

So for now, I’ll just stay here, safely hidden away, until I start to love myself.

Book Review: The Doll House by Phoebe Morgan 

Wow! I have read a lot of books this year that have claimed to be psychological thrillers, but have fallen very short of the line. This book, however – now this is a psychological thriller!

The story is told from the POV of two sisters, Corinne and Ashley, who are grieving the loss of their beloved father. Corinne and longterm partner Dominic are desperate to become parents and are going through their fourth round of IVF, which is in turn making Corinne extremely anxious. Ashley, married with three children, is having problems of her own with her moody teenage daughter and grouchy baby Holly, as well as husband James who is acting increasingly distant and strange. To top it all, odd and unexplained things are happening to them both; silent phone calls to Ashley’s landline and mobile, a dead rabbit left on Dominic’s car bonnet, and little ‘gifts’ appearing and disappearing in Corinne’s home.

Enter the third POV, whose identity is kept anonymous, but who appears to have been watching the sisters since childhood.

I love an anonymous narrator as much as I love the guessing game that this book kept me in throughout. As soon as I thought I had it all figured out, somebody else began to act suspiciously until I was doubting myself.. was I the culprit?

Might I also add that this novel is a DEBUT for Phoebe Morgan, and if this is a sign of things to come, I can’t wait for her next book. 

5 stars on Goodreads – I highly recommend it.

Friday Love ❤️ 

We all love a Friday.. don’t we?! Okay, apart from those of us who work weekends. Fortunately, as I don’t work weekends, I am able to love my Fridays freely – hence the name of my blog. 😊

Not everything about this Friday has been good though, I have to admit. I left work early today to take my cat Masai to the vets. He has been under the weather for the past few days. I can’t really pinpoint what it was that was wrong with him as he was eating and going about life as usual. But he was far from normal. For those of you who are familiar with cats, or any pet for that matter – you just know when there is something wrong. This morning, there was no question about it. He refused to eat, he refused to leave the house, and he sat hunched up on the table and let out the occasional pitiful miaow as if he was asking for help. Broke my heart leaving him, so I rang the vet once I’d arrived at work. 

Fast forward to early afternoon and I left work and sped home to pick him up, all kinds of worst case scenarios racing through my mind. The vet was incredibly helpful and admitted him straight away to do a barrage of tests. I certainly wasn’t overreacting, which I knew already. It is terrible when your animal is in pain yet can’t tell you exactly what the problem is. You feel helpless. But he is in the right place now, and hopefully will be better by the time I pick him up tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for Masai. 

Have a great weekend! 💜