“Well, it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow and I still don’t know what to get myself,” I said to my co-worker yesterday.
Yes, it was supposed to be tongue-in-cheek, a little joke between single people. And I’m sure you’ve heard it before.
It’s definitely something I’ve said before, on many an occasion. I worked it out the other day – I have been officially single for 10 years. Yes, 10 years!
Well admittedly, there have been a couple of hiccups along the way, but the last time I was in an official, proper relationship on Valentine’s Day was in 2007.
Okay, so it’s 11 years. I can’t count.
What I can do though, is the single life. I love it. And it does make me feel a little superior when February 14th comes around. I don’t have to brave the shops to buy a ridiculously over-priced trinket, or mull over a funny and mildly insulting card, or a smooshy one.
(Funny and mildly insulting all the way, if you were going to ask.)
And if there is a part of me that looks on enviously at loved-up couples proudly declaring their adoration for one another, it has been buried deep down, rarely to be seen.
But I am aware that not every single person out there is as cynical and hard-nosed as moi. In fact, some of you hate being single, and hanker after that perfect love, or even just a little companionship. Being single does not sit well with some.
Regrets and wishful thinking are the worst things to dwell upon on Valentine’s Day. Remember: you don’t need another person to complete you, or make you happy. That lies with yourself. A relationship should be an added extra to an already happy life that you have created – not somebody else.
So what can you do to pamper yourself this Valentine’s Day?
- Be kind to yourself. If you are feeling down because you are surrounded by lovey-dovey couples as you queue up in the supermarket with your ready meal for one, don’t. Instead of focusing on other people’s happiness, focus on yourself. Do something that makes you happy. Get out of that queue and add chocolates and wine to your basket. Or ditch the ready meal altogether and take yourself out for a meal at your favourite restaurant. Being single doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in the things you love. Romance yourself!
- Be grateful. Instead of lamenting your single state, think about the things you have to offer in your next relationship. Accept that the past happened for a reason, and that the lessons you have learned can be applied to your next romantic encounter. List 3 advantages of your single life. For example, mine would be the freedom to do what I want, when I want without having to consult somebody else; being able to come home after a tough day at work and curl up with a book in silence; the independence I have. Life isn’t always hearts and flowers in a relationship.
- Meet up with family or friends. There is no reason to stay in and dwell. Get out and about, meet up with people, do something to take your mind off those negative thoughts. It is perfectly acceptable to have fun as a single person on Valentine’s Day. After all, let’s face it.. it is only another day. And, believe it or not, you aren’t the only single person in the world. Who knows what could happen while you’re out and about?
- Renew your love affair with yourself. Remember all of the things you love about yourself and write them down. Start an inspiration journal, and jot down the things you are thankful for every day. Learn to like yourself again. Take personality quizzes, read up on your star sign, get to know yourself as you would any romantic interest. Reaffirm your importance to yourself.
- Spread the love. Show some kindness to somebody else. Cook for a friend, buy a gift for a loved one. Do someone a favour and not only will they benefit, but you will feel amazing!
Happy Valentine’s Day! ❤️