Monday was a significant day for me, although I wish it wasn’t. Every year when March the 5th comes around, it reminds me of Him.
It the birthday of The One That Got Away.
Well, I say The One That Got Away, but what I really mean is The Bullet I Dodged.
Even though, I still think of him. But not in an I Wish You Were Mine kind of way. More a What Was I Thinking kind of way.
There is always The One that you fall for with your entire being, only for them to break your heart so completely that it will probably never heal again.
And even if it does, it will always have fault lines and missing pieces.
He was that person. I thought it was real love. I thought he was The One. But now I’ve come to my senses, I’m not sure what I was thinking.
I no longer miss him. I no longer want him back. I no longer think of him when I wake each morning, and last thing at night.
But he does still cross my mind, more often than I am comfortable with. I’m certainly not in love with him anymore. I liken it to an important lesson that changes your life forever, and which stays with you until you learn something new and just as important. Like figuring out algebra or something. Having my heart smashed into pieces by him has taught me the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn – that my low self-esteem has led me into situations I should never have even considered being involved in.
Now I’m learning to love myself instead of men who really aren’t worth my time and effort, I suppose it is only normal to mull over the mistakes I’ve made in the past, and the lessons I’ve learned.
That’s the only reason I still think about him. Because this heart is now closed. This heart is now healing.