Winging It: Life, And How Not To Do It

So, I decided to take the weekend off from blogging. In fact, I took the weekend off from most things. I temporarily forgot about my to-do list, and basically just relaxed. To be fair, I think I deserved it.

Since my public meltdown on here the other week and the support I received from some of you amazing people, it feels like all of my worry and anxiety and stress has kind of deflated. It doesn’t feel as important anymore, as if the very act of writing it down has neutralised the negative feelings. Instead, I feel a lot more chilled out, and also a little indifferent. Why should a job I don’t particularly care for have so much influence over my life and my emotions?

Of course, I am merely avoiding the issue and I know it will raise its ugly head again very soon, unless things change. We have a new member of staff starting next week so things may improve. But after 18 months of the same or similar levels of shit, I’m sceptical. I think it’s time to move on, and my current indifference is merely an emotional plaster that will eventually peel off.

If only life was easier and we all had jobs that we loved, and relationships with 100% trust and loyalty, and happy home lives with enough money to pay the bills and holiday every year. If only.

I’m guessing there must be people out there who do have all of this, and if you are one of those lucky people, I am jealous.

I’m at such a crossroads in my life right now that I need to sit myself down and give myself a good talking to. I’m 42 this year – why haven’t I figured out where I am going, what I want to do, who I want to be with? Should I have this figured out by now? Or am I destined to waste my days away in passionless jobs just to pay the rent, coming home to my cats and my books and my wine. Actually, I don’t mind the latter, but do I really want to be alone forever?

Ok, I need to compile a short-term bucket list. What I want to have achieved by the end of 2019.

Yep, 2019. Plenty of time then, so I don’t really have any excuses. Here goes..

  1. Enrol on the life coaching course I’ve had my eye on. I know what I want to do but I don’t have a lot of confidence in my abilities, mainly because it is something I haven’t done before. Ask me to lead and organise a team of people, or process a pile of timesheets and I will amaze you. But life coaching? Zero confidence in myself. So, get qualified, join the ACCPH (Accredited Counsellors, Coaches, Psychotherapists and Hypnotherapists) and go from there.
  2. Book a holiday. Anywhere really, although preferably somewhere nice and hot with interesting places to visit and a beach. And cocktails.
  3. Get a new job. Yes, I know the #1 thing is going to happen, but I still need to pay the bills before I build up a solid client base. And I can’t keep dragging myself into the hellhole I currently work in.
  4. Open myself up to the possibility of love. Ok, this is probably the one I’m least confident about as I don’t have much faith in people. But it would be nice to have someone in my corner for once.
  5. Have more faith in me. I’m a mess really, aren’t I? If I had more faith in myself, I wouldn’t even be writing this list. I know I have strengths but I get scared when it comes to applying them to something I really want. And then I run away and hide.

Life coaching? I think I need someone to coach me before anything else. After all, I can’t wing it forever.

Advertisements

5 Tips For Staying Single (The Definitive Guide To Being Weird And Alone)

There are lots and lots of posts out there giving relationship advice, or “how to find love.” Some of us, however, don’t want to find love, date, be in a relationship, or even speak to the opposite sex, or anybody for that matter.

So what are the best ways to put men, or women, off you completely? I have to admit, I am an expert in this. Following on from a few dating disasters, and just everyday life working with idiots, I decided to give up on my love life completely, and have been steadily building sky-high walls ever since that nobody is ever going to consider scaling.

But do I never get lonely? Actually, no. I love my own company and have become strangely addicted to my drama-free life. If I want adult company then I can always initiate it, but why bother when I can spend time alone.

Don’t I miss being with someone? Nah, not really. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’m quite an odd person who needs a lot of time to herself, and other people don’t always understand this. It has taken me a fair few years of relentlessly pushing people away to achieve this level of contentment and I’m not giving it up for anyone.

Sounds miserable and spinster-ish? Well yeah, I suppose it is to some people, but not to me. I can do what I want, when I want, with who I want – or with nobody, which is even better.

Here are my five pointers to putting people off you completely.

  1. Consistently ignore all attempts at communication via phone, email, WhatsApp, Facebook, whatever. In the end, they will get the message.
  2. If you notice somebody keeps throwing you one too many glances or trying to strike up a conversation, just start acting like they don’t exist. Yep, completely blank them. Unless they are some kind of persistent weirdo, they will give up sooner or later.
  3. Be deliberately foul or argumentative to the opposite sex. And never smile. Surefire way to put people off.
  4. Argue with yourself in public. This is a tad extreme but works wonders. Who wants to associate with the crazy freak who screams at herself in front of other people?
  5. Stop washing. Also extreme, but I assume it would work. I haven’t ever had to resort to this because my resting bitch face is enough to put the bravest of people off, but it’s certainly an option.

Good luck out there! And remember: