Persevering

First of all, I just want to thank those of you who took the time to read/like/comment on my weekend post. I wasn’t in a good place at the time and needed to get a lot of frustration off my chest. Afterwards, I did consider deleting it on more than one occasion – I wasn’t sure if I explained fully how I was feeling, or even why I was feeling the way I did. In hindsight, I thought that it would seem a little trivial to those of you who are depressed for real, authentic reasons. But then I realised – when you suffer from clinical depression, anything can be a trigger, no matter how big or small. Nobody was going to judge me on that.

For me in this case, it is a result of working my heart and soul out for a company that takes me for granted, and will continue taking me for granted until I decide enough is enough. My problem, or my greatest asset, whichever way you want to look at it, is that I pride myself on doing the very best I can, whether I am happy or not. If I have a job to do, I will knuckle down and get it done. And that is where I have gone wrong with this company – they are taking advantage of my work ethic rather than awarding me for it.

So I need to leave and take my loyalty and my integrity elsewhere.

Of course, it isn’t that easy. I can’t wake up one morning and think, “sod it, I’m not going back”, much as I’d like to. I have bills to pay and mouths to feed.

So my only other option is to find another job. Easier said than done, but I will persevere. They won’t break me.

I just need to be careful that I don’t break me.

Happy Monday! ๐Ÿ’™

Anyone for Coffee? #WeekendCoffeeShare

Photo courtesy of http://www.intheplayroom.co.uk.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you good morning and thank you for joining me on my first ever weekend coffee share. Today, although coffee is the name of the game, I will be drinking tea instead, white with two sugars. You?

So, I’m going to use our little chat as an excuse to summarise the week, which hasn’t been the easiest. Work is becoming more and more tiresome as the days go by. Right now, my co-worker has handed in her notice and our manager is finding it difficult to accept. She has resorted to ignoring my co-worker completely, including all conversations amongst the team that she is involved it, which is most of them as my co-worker is particularly chatty. 

As you can imagine, the atmosphere in the office is almost tangible, but as none of us are really too keen on the manager, we are managing to ignore it and her successfully. 

I find it all very immature and unprofessional, and another clear indication of why this company isn’t the best to work for. If she (my manager) was a real grown-up, she would be happy that my co-worker is attempting to better herself. There is very little room for progression in our current role, and the only option to get ahead is to find work elsewhere. Surely our manager must see that. But instead, she has taken it as a personal insult. 

It is all very ridiculous, to be honest. It makes me very aware of how awkward it will be when I resign (sooner rather than later, I hope!) My co-worker and I have become quite close over the past few weeks, and we have each other to lean on. However, once she goes, it isn’t going to be as easy for me to brush off the atmosphere. I am very sensitive to things like that.

Nevertheless, I will continue with my job hunt.

How’s that coffee? Would you like a top up?

In all honesty, I’m not having much luck with the job hunt. As I am only looking for part time, the options are limited, and the competition is high. I would have no problem securing a full time role, but I don’t want that right now. Instead, I have been considering freelance work, which is something new. Do I have the motivation though? After years of settling for second best, I want to do something that I have a real passion for. Writing and reading are my great passions, so why not make a living from it? I am tired of toiling away at jobs I don’t particularly enjoy. I want to spend time doing the things I love instead. I have already signed up for a proofreading and editing course, and a freelance journalism course. So watch this space! ๐Ÿ˜

On a sadder note, my grandma passed away this week after a short hospital stay, as I mentioned in my post yesterday https://redwineandfridaynights.wordpress.com/2017/08/11/its-friday-2/. It was not a great shock, but heartbreaking nonetheless. RIP Grandma.

So that’s a round up of the highlights, or lowlights, of my week. I hope you have enjoyed our weekend coffee share, and will be back to join me again next week. Have a fabulous weekend! ๐Ÿ’œ