First of all, I just want to thank those of you who took the time to read/like/comment on my weekend post. I wasn’t in a good place at the time and needed to get a lot of frustration off my chest. Afterwards, I did consider deleting it on more than one occasion – I wasn’t sure if I explained fully how I was feeling, or even why I was feeling the way I did. In hindsight, I thought that it would seem a little trivial to those of you who are depressed for real, authentic reasons. But then I realised – when you suffer from clinical depression, anything can be a trigger, no matter how big or small. Nobody was going to judge me on that.
For me in this case, it is a result of working my heart and soul out for a company that takes me for granted, and will continue taking me for granted until I decide enough is enough. My problem, or my greatest asset, whichever way you want to look at it, is that I pride myself on doing the very best I can, whether I am happy or not. If I have a job to do, I will knuckle down and get it done. And that is where I have gone wrong with this company – they are taking advantage of my work ethic rather than awarding me for it.
So I need to leave and take my loyalty and my integrity elsewhere.
Of course, it isn’t that easy. I can’t wake up one morning and think, “sod it, I’m not going back”, much as I’d like to. I have bills to pay and mouths to feed.
So my only other option is to find another job. Easier said than done, but I will persevere. They won’t break me.
I just need to be careful that I don’t break me.
Happy Monday! 💙